When He Take Girlfriend to Family for Christmas Day

(Original post by jermay88)
I asked my girlfriend of nine months if she'd similar to spend Christmas with me and my family. Im 25, and she's 22. We are still working on our relationship as she is a very anxious girl. Despite beingness together 9 months, she's still tense with me, though has been relaxing as time goes on.

When asking, I realise that Christmas for some is a very family orientated occasion, and that she may just want to spend it with her family... added to the fact she's even so not completely comfortable with me.

Anyway, she didn't reply. The next day (today) she told me she's going to spend information technology at home, which was fine in my mind. She said that she told Alan (her fiddling brother) she might be away at xmas, and he got very sad, and then I recall that was her reasoning to have information technology at home.

Anyway, I told my mum this and she said ''oh thats okay... though you are her swain...." suggesting that it was odd of her to cull her little brother over being with me at christmas.

This has started making me feel down and anxious. Was this a rejection? Why would she prefer to spend time with him instead of me? The questions are rhetorical equally I had them answered before talking ot my mum, simply her perspective fabricated me question things. I on the ane hand, would practise anything to be with her at Christmas. What should I do? Confused and worried

Why tin't y'all go to hers?

tbh i call up u should ask her to marry u therefore u become family trouble solved innit

Why can't y'all get with her to her family at christmas? If you lot recall she should requite that up, then surely y'all should too?

Would it exist possible for yous to spend Christmas with her family unit?

Personally I think it'southward quite reasonable that she'd prefer to see her family - some parents/siblings can get very difficult with no-shows, particularly if this would be the first one she missed. Besides which, if things are tense betwixt you, spending a few days ensconced in someone else'southward family might not be that appealing to her. Perhaps it would exist better to look frontwards to Christmas 2014 whereby it might be more alarming if seeing each other at Christmas was out of the question.

Of form it's not weird for her to be spending Christmas with her family - it'd be weirder if she spent it with yous! You've just been together 9 months, for goodness' sake! Near people spend Christmas with their families, information technology'd be a massive rejection for her family if she picked her boyfriend of less than a year over them.

Hey mate,

Showtime, I don't recall it's a rejection. She is yet with you after all, and hasn't ended the relationship. A friend of mine, who is now married, has a overnice system going - he and his wife spend i christmas with his parents and the next is with her parents. In a similar fashion, she can spend christmas with her family, and if you can join in this twelvemonth then you get the all-time of both worlds, and adjacent year she can spend information technology at yours with your family. It is still quite early on in your relationship, and then don't fret, nothing major. Its quite understandable if she wants to be with her family at christmas.

The bigger issues for me would be to discover out why she'due south uncomfortable/anxious effectually you and sort this out, i.e. make her experience more than at home in the human relationship.

In my past relationships I had never seen my girlfriend at the time on Christmas Day so information technology is normal for her to want to merely spend time with the family.

(Original mail service by jermay88)
I asked my girlfriend of nine months if she'd like to spend Christmas with me and my family. Im 25, and she'south 22. We are still working on our relationship as she is a very anxious girl. Despite existence together 9 months, she's still tense with me, though has been relaxing as time goes on.

When request, I realise that Christmas for some is a very family orientated occasion, and that she may simply want to spend it with her family... added to the fact she'south still not completely comfortable with me.

Anyhow, she didn't answer. The next twenty-four hour period (today) she told me she'due south going to spend it at dwelling house, which was fine in my mind. She said that she told Alan (her little brother) she might be away at xmas, and he got very sad, so I recollect that was her reasoning to take it at domicile.

Anyway, I told my mum this and she said ''oh thats okay... though you are her boyfriend...." suggesting that it was odd of her to choose her little brother over beingness with me at christmas.

This has started making me feel downward and anxious. Was this a rejection? Why would she prefer to spend time with him instead of me? The questions are rhetorical as I had them answered earlier talking ot my mum, only her perspective made me question things. I on the 1 hand, would practise anything to exist with her at Christmas. What should I do? Confused and worried

I don't think y'all should be upset or worried: you've only been together for nine months and Christmas is very family orientated. Call up how her parents and siblings would feel if she chose to spend Christmas with a relatively new boyfriend instead of them. I know for a fact that my parents would be hugely bellyaching with me and I've been with my boyfriend for a twelvemonth and a half. If you were engaged and been dating for a few years then I would think you would have reason to worry just in your case I would but accept her view indicate.

My partner and I spend our first Christmas apart after six months - but that was more to do with the fact that his Mum was on her own. We decided that we'd practice alternate years with him coming to mine and coming to hers, simply for the first year this year he's chosen to come to mine instead of hers. It'south our 5th Christmas together, and "her year", but obviously she doesn't really celebrate and he's miserable when he goes there. I experience sorry for her, merely it'due south his pick at the end of the solar day, and I'd never brand him choose either way.

I'm glad that the dynamics of the two families are such that information technology would be odd for me to go to his Mum's, considering I'd hate to spend Christmas anywhere else than in my babyhood home! Never have (even so).

Family is important.
Give her room to chill with her relatives.

You cant decide for her what to practise

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Source: https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2535293

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